I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
