can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
