we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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