the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
