Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
