Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
