everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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