I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
