im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
