wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
