trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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