Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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