sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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