Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
