Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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