Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I wear drunk well.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
