That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
