We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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