I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he was CRYING into my vagina
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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