I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
