he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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