Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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