That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
