remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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