You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
