He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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