Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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