I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
