So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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