yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
