I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
