I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
