bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
