If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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