I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
