all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
