my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
