i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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