it wasn't lemon gatorade
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
