So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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