you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
