Me. At least after what I've been through.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
