i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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