I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
