Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
