I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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