I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
