You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
