doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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