Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
